How to handle public toilets that you don’t trust
Any other method? 
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I’m getting a divorce
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. ‘I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.’
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.
The husband speaks again, ‘I don’t want you to try and talk me out of it,’ he says, ‘because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a far better lover than you are.’
Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75.
He pushes his luck, ‘I want the house,’ he says insistently.
Up to 80.
‘I want the car, too,’ he continues.
85 mph.
‘And,’ he says, ‘I’ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!’
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, ‘Isn’t there anything you want?’
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. ‘No, I’ve got everything I need,’ she says.
‘Oh, really,’ he inquires, ’so what have you got?’
Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles, ‘The airbag.’
*Should have kept the moving pods…
I get my fuel from my music. Help me replace my guitar strings. Click the guitar.Popularity: 3% [?]
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Pulse Ultra Club, Kuala Lumpur
*photo credit-Grand Millennium
I had a chance to hang out at the Pulse Ultra Club in KL last Tuesday. It was not really planned intentionally actually. All you know, friends and family were with us. And what a blast! I think the club really lives up to it’s name. “Ultra Club”. Pretty upscale joint if you ask me. One thing’s for sure the ladies… yes the ladies were all hip and hawt. Hey I even spotted Francisca Peters hanging out with her friends. The band that was playing is called “Da Remix” or was it “The Remix”??. A six piece band. They even called her on stage to perform together. The band members are all African American except for one of the keyboardist and the main singer which is a nice looking lady. They played some cool modern jazz, funky stuff as well as your favorite R&B tunes. I just love the bass player with his 6 strings bass man! Really Phat sounds coming from em’ bass!
I’d say this is the place to see and to be seen or whatever. But be prepared to have the cash man. It sure is not like your local club rate if you know what I’m saying. Oh did I mention that the DJ was good too? Bring your girlfriend here. She’d thank you for that. Anyway, awesome place.
Here are some other places you can find out about Pulse, Ultra Club, Kuala Lumpur:
Official Page on Pulse Ultra Club from Grand Millennium Hotels Website-Kuala Lumpur
“Pulse”
*Going clubbing soon? Get some top rated acne treatments first. It could make you lucky.
I get my fuel from my music. Help me replace my guitar strings. Click the guitar.Popularity: 5% [?]
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Female Merit / Demerit System Discovered recently
The Female Merit/Demerit System……And how we are rated .
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the system is set up.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5) In the rain. (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod. (+10)
It’s her pet. (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy. (-2)
Named Tina. (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has silicone implants. (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it’s not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it is a sports bar. (-2)
And it’s all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It’s called ‘Death Cop.’ (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, “It doesn’t matter; you have one too.” (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)
Any other response. (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes. (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
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